May 12, 2017

Home


Like having a home
And not fixing the ceiling
Leaving the sink to foam
And the wallpaper peeling
 
 
Letting the furniture rot
And not dusting the floor
Letting the gas run out
And leaving the food to sour
 
 
Having stains on the curtain
And keeping the tablecloth unclean
Not weeding the garden
And forgetting your pets hygiene
 
 
Having cracks on your walls
And leaving the windows broken
Having your front gates fall
And leaving your back door open
 
 
Now, If this doesn’t sound
Like something you would do
Take a look around
On how you treat our planet too
 
 
It’s been a home to us
Since the day we arrived
And it’s every appearance
Should be a matter of pride
 
 
So take a minute and consider
Try to change your point of view
For every home is a mirror
And is a real reflection of you.

April 12, 2017

What Could Possibly Make a Man Jealous of his Friend?


Apparently a lot of things. I started thinking about this when my husband one day annoyingly made a statement that women can only be Frenemies and not just Friends. I did some homework to find out key traits that make a frenemy act the way they do. Apparently, it all stems from jealousy and leads to desire. 

 

{Also Read: Who is a Frenemy? Is it Just a Term for Women?}

 

A frenemy, probably, genuinely likes you but is jealous of some qualities or privileges you have that make him want to see you fail. I posted on facebook “What could possibly make a man jealous of his friend?”. My friends, mostly guys, had these in their mind.

 

via GIPHY

 

“He has a Better Bike or Car”

Yes, you are happy your friend bought a fancy car and you can all go for a drive, but it isn’t yours. Somewhere in the corner of your wicked mind, you wish you could accidently drag a very pointed stone and leave a nice scratch right on those shiny doors.

 

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If diamonds are girl’s best friend then bikes and cars are a man’s soul mate. They will never get bored talking about it. They understand and relate to their mean machine more than their woman. As a child, they will proudly cycle around the neighbourhood and the moment they are in a college, they would need a bike because everyone else seems to have one. The attitude, attire and style that goes along with this priceless metallic friend are…ehm..so much to die for.

 

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Also, do not be surprised to find a man who is saving his first 6 month’s salary to be able to afford the down payment for his first car. Men are possessive about their bikes and cars, but even then, a brand new vehicle in a friend’s garage will turn them green with envy.

 

via GIPHY

 

“If he is stronger, more powerful and has bigger Biceps”

Is your wardrobe filled with protein supplements? Have you spent hours in front the mirror wondering if that half an hour workout has grown your biceps? Have you never shown so much focus on anything else but to finally be able to lift those weights at the gym?

 

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Men will pay a steep price to be stronger, powerful and have big biceps. Perhaps for them, these three tend to outline the foundation of masculinity. Broad shoulders, readiness to walk around shirtless, always ready to punch someone, physical strength a lot of men visualise themselves to fit into this profile. 

 

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Do men feel they are losing out on the attention and confidence in front of a friend who is more powerful? I know for sure what does bother some of them. A T-shirt that looks hot on your friends chiselled body but fails to create the same impact on your lean body! 

 

“I get jealous of his other friends; definitely, if he grabs all the attention; after getting married, I am jealous of all my bachelor friends”

A friend (male) commented that he would be jealous if his friend was closer to another guy than him. Wasn’t that only a girl thing? Perhaps not.

 

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Another popular reason for jealousy was when a friend always steals the spotlight. A handsome boy who was also a college topper, football team captain, had all the girls around him and often left you standing somewhere far all alone. A scene very familiar from your life perhaps?

 

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Now imagine, a few years later, this friend eventually gets married, goes for shopping with one kid in each hand, a nagging wife following behind, bumps into you while you are still single and roaming around carefree. Wouldn’t that be a great feeling for you! 

 

via GIPHY

 

“He gets all the latest gadgets!; I am waiting for the day when my paycheck will be bigger than his; How is he so successful in whatever he does!”

A friend of mine was cribbing about her husband’s urge to buy new gadgets. He doesn’t buy them out of need but because some random friend has bought it and everyone seems to love it. Some gadgets are like Little Black Dress. You can’t just have one.

 

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Of course, if a friend can afford to buy the latest iPhone as soon as it is launched, he was either born with a silver spoon or is more successful in life and has more zeros and digits in his CTC- another reason to envy. The worst part is when you have to adjust to his lifestyle but with your own money. He wants to go to to a night club at that 5-star hotel in your city when all you want is to sit at home and gulp down your Old Monk. 

 

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You can be, in a way, thankful to this friend because he will remind you why you should be working hard even if your boss doesn’t deserve you.  

 

“I get jealous of my friends who are gifted with good hair and can grow beard easily; I am the shortest in my friend circle, so yes I am jealous of their height.”

Height is a factor that can make a man feel jealous of a fellow male and even more of a female. Girlfriends can forget their heels if they are dating a short guy. It is also one troubling factor because if there was ever a solution to fix a man’s height, I am sure Tom Cruise would have given it a shot.

 

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Living with my husband made me realise that men can also be really fastidious about their hair and beard. He combs his hair from left to right and right to left but to his annoyance, I find him still looking the same (Same handsome, charming and majestic). Once he even hinted that he wants a beard grooming kit. I initially thought he was joking because where on earth would you find such a product. To my humongous surprise, there are such products in the market and a lot of people buy them!

 

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I think the grief is at its peak when you are half bald and in your 40’s and meet an old friend whose hairline has not moved even an inch behind. Unless that friend of your’s still cannot grow a proper beard, to your rejoice! 

 

via GIPHY

 

 “My friend has a hot girlfriend; I hate it when my girlfriend finds my friend funnier than me; I could really get jealous of a friend who is married and still gets some space and freedom!”

Is a hot girlfriend of a friend, whom you have to excruciatingly call “Bhabiji”, driving you crazy? Is that friend deriving pleasure out of the situation?

 

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If you have an excellent sense of humour, then I suggest you stop worrying and start talking to her. Most sensible women find good humour attractive and you too can send some waves of insecurity towards your friend by making his hot girlfriend laugh at your jokes.

 

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Remember this episode from Friends- When Monica says Chandler isn’t the funniest guy? 

 

Thankfully, Monica used to give Chandler his space so that he spends quality time with his best friend Joey. A lot of people ask me if it bothers me that my husband goes out playing football thrice a week. In fact, a man once asked me how do I manage and how should he convince his fiance to give him that space. My answer was simple. If she wants her own space, she got to give him his. Before he could finish his grin, I also added: “would you be fine if she is out partying thrice a week while you have to figure out dinner on your own?”.

 

“SIZE”

via GIPHY

Someone, a girl for that matter, wrote SIZE as one of the reasons. I am kind of confused if it is the size of the same thing that I am thinking. Do men really compare? I don’t know. You tell me.

 

{Also Read: 6 Traits to Easily Identify a Frenemy}


April 10, 2017

The Search


There goes my country searching for me again
Looking through lush forests and fields of sugar canes

Wondering if I am reliving my childhood climbing her treetops

Or chasing the monsoon clouds for their first raindrops.

 

So many festivals, could I be one among the crowd
Or am I on her highest peaks, caressing the clouds
Sorts through the boats dotting her great riverbeds
Not there, maybe on one of her pretty shores instead.

 

Could I have lost track of time walking through her villages and towns
Could I be spellbound somewhere admiring her jewels and crowns
She checks every castle, ruin and fortress walls
Sifts through the golden sand dunes and her gushing waterfalls.

 

She fails to find me admiring her melancholy sunsets
The melody of temple bells doesn’t lessen her regret
Like envoys of her beauty, stars come out at night
She wonders why I left her, why all this didn’t bring me any delight.


April 10, 2017

6 Traits to Easily Identify a Frenemy


Do you feel the need to wear safety gears when a certain friend is around? Is there an arch rival to whom you would send hidden signals when they are in danger from someone else, only because you envy some qualities in them? Have you befriended an individual who behaves differently when you two are alone vis-à-vis when in a group? Do you have a friend who compliments you “Oh! You are looking so beautiful!”, when you know you are looking your worst?

 

via GIPHY

 

What does one even mean by Frenemy? Is it an outcome of a personality clash? Is it just a term for Women? Not always. I asked few good friends if they will help me list down parameters that could define this relationship. What feeling or trait does a person or everyone in that relational web should have that gives a reflection that not all is peaceful and acceptable between them. 

 

Jealous: a feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages. A frenemy will never say or feel “so what if I didn’t get it, at least she got it. I am happy for her.” There will always be an ounce of remorse in their heart that you have something that they do not, regardless of whether they even need it or not. A luxury car might be gathering dust in the garage, but the sheer fact that you bought the latest model would irk them.

 

via GIPHY

 

Egoism: the fact of being excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself. If two people feel the need to boast about themselves, then they are frenemies. You can wear Nizam’s jewels or get a scholarship at Harvard University, your frenemy’s prima-donna behavior will never let them accept that your achievement is justified and neither would they come forward to congratulate, unless, it’s to throw a line of sarcasm at you in front of 10 others. The narcissists in the grip of ego will be of the opinion that anyone who has blessed you with these privileges has not come across him/her.

 

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Manipulative: exercising unscrupulous control or influence over a person or situation.A friend will not try to control you. On the other hand, a frenemy may want to do exactly that because they are opportunists, considers themselves superior and do not trust your abilities. Also, their motive is mostly self-focused and manipulating a situation will help them gain personal advantage from it. When you are around a manipulative frenemy, you will eventually feel weak and lose confidence as they overpower you mentally.

 

via GIPHY

 

Distrust: the feeling that someone or something cannot be relied upon. You cannot trust a frenemy and neither will they have confidence in you. The relationship is sealed with doubts and treachery. You will never disclose that you don’t believe even a word of what the other person tells you and your frenemy will not miss out on an opportunity to disclose your secrets or bitch behind your back. Be warned that a frenemy will act supportive and push you to get your secrets out, in their own manipulative ways.

 

via GIPHY

 

Opportunism: the taking of opportunities as and when they arise, regardless of planning or principle.When it comes to self-benefits, friendship takes a back seat between frenemies. Friends would discuss an opportunity to see if they can include each other to share the fruits. Frenemy would not be concerned whether you are even aware of an opening towards personal gain. In fact, they may go at length to ensure things are kept under wrap until it is too late for you to act. You will be left shocked when you realize how games can be played unfairly to get a lead in the race.

 

via GIPHY

 

Schadenfreude: pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune. This is a german word but fits perfectly for frenemies around the world. You can expect a frenemy to laugh at you when you make a mistake; if not in front of you, definitely behind your back. The worst part would be that they will share their interpretation of the happenings with 5 other people, leaving you embarrassed. These are cheap thrills for them and an opportunity to point out what you shouldn’t have done to avoid this misfortune. 

 

via GIPHY

Women are more prone to be targeted or blamed for the existence of this relationship because they are probably more vocal about their emotions. In fact, when you search for frenemy related content on the internet, you will find most of the blogs, images and gifs around women. Men are only seldom counted under this category because of the way they react in similar situations. A female frenemy will know they are screwing you over and might even feel the guilt from it, a male frenemy, on the other hand, would feel its no big deal. Jealousy is, without a doubt, the core reason for why frenemies exist. Read What Could Possibly Make a Man Jealous of his Friend. 

 

via GIPHY


April 10, 2017

Who is a Frenemy? Is it Just a Term for Women?


 
This happened on International Women’s Day. A colleague, also a friend at work, pinged me to ask if I have completed a report we were supposed to submit the next day. I told her I haven’t started and enquired if she was anywhere close to completion. She wasn’t either. It is always a sigh of relief to hear that you won’t be the only one struggling to submit the report on time. 
 
 
An hour later an email from boss lists down the names of people who are yet to submit. It wasn’t a list. It just had my name on it. I looked at the girl and she pretended her best to act busy. 
 
 
I cursed the entire day and continued with my grumbling while at home, narrating the day’s horrible experience to my husband. When I was done with my blatant accusations of how she misguided me on purpose to earn brownie points, my husband scorned and shook his head. 
 
“I think you are over reacting. Maybe she was able to finish it quickly, expecting you would do the same.”
 
“No ways. She couldn’t have completed it in within an hour if she had to start from the beginning. She definitely lied to me, gave me a feeling that I don’t need to rush with my report. Why didn’t she tell me she is submitting? She obviously had hidden agenda. Some guts she has.”
 
“So now you are jealous that she thought of outdoing you and not the other way around? Didn’t you tell me last week that she is the only nice person in your company and that you have found a friend? So now there is no nice person left but you?”
 
I hate him. Did I really marry him? 
 
“We are still friends. I mean we still have a lot in common, but she shouldn’t have done this. All the more reasons why I should be friends with her. I can keep an eye on her.”
 
” What! So you are saying you want to be her friend because she is your enemy? You are Frenemies!!” 
 
“Noooo and stop laughing.”
 
“Of Course you are. All you women. You can’t be just friends. You always have reasons to compete and be jealous of someone, even if it’s your best friend. Do you get some sort of pleasure from being jealous?”
 
Ok seriously. Who is this man? Where is he hiding my husband???
 
“THAT is NOT true. It is not always and it is not just women. I have seen you being jealous of your friends.”
 
“When?”
 
Blank. Damn it. I can’t think of anything.
 
“See! Ran out of arguments?”
 
I stood there staring at him playing FIFA, completely oblivion of the fact that he left me with another topic to worry about.